


Understanding

by gingayellow



Category: Tokumei Sentai Go-Busters
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 23:38:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingayellow/pseuds/gingayellow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jin came back wrong. At least, that's what he thinks. Post-series AU, warnings for past trauma and self-harm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Understanding

Title: Understanding  
Fandom: Tokumei Sentai Go-Busters  
Characters/Pairing: Iwasaki Ryuuji/Jin Masato  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Not mine, anything mentioned here by name isn't mine  
Warnings: Post-series AU. Past trauma, self-harm  
Summary: Jin came back wrong. At least, that's what he thinks.

When Jin stopped, he had to lean against a tree to keep from collapsing. His legs burned, breathing hurt, he was dizzy and felt like he was gonna die, but in a good way. The way that you were supposed to feel after a very long run.

After he'd steadied himself, Jin dug into his pocket to check his phone. Five calls since he went out, all from Ryuuji.

He frowned as he took tiny sips from his water bottle. Ryuuji worried too much. After all, how was he supposed to get used to having a physical body again if he didn't exercise? This was more extreme than what he did before (two hours instead of forty minutes), but hey, he had to get active again. And while Jin really did appreciate Ryuuji hanging around and making sure he didn't fall apart, literally or figuratively, he was getting a little tired of Mama Blue Buster being turned in his direction. He was an adult. Adults went for summer jogs sometimes.

He knew his body. He knew what had happened to it.

Still, he better head home. He didn't want Ryuuji to worry himself sick, and he was pretty sweaty. Shower time.

\--

"Sempai."

"Yes?" Jin downed a protein shake.

"You need to stop this. You're hurting yourself."

"Ryuu-chan, relax. It's a little exercise." He stretched, and promptly grimaced he aggravated the calf muscle he'd pulled at the end of his run. "We don't all swoon from overexertion like you do."

"Then what would you call running until you collapse, forcing yourself up, and then running until you collapse again?"

... How did he know that. "Did you have Morishita spy on me?!"

"What choice did I have?" Ryuuji huffed, stared down at his boots while folding his arms across his chest tightly. "You go out for hours in the hot sun, so I can't follow you without risking overheating. Then you purposefully harm yourself so--"

"Don't go there, Ryuuji." He'd had his fill of this shit from Kurorin. He didn't need it from his kouhai. "I'm fine."

"Sempai." Ryuuji came to him, hands on Jin's shoulders, and for the first time Jin was pissed off that Ryuuji was taller than him now. "No one would be fine after what you went through."

"Well, then," Jin said as he pulled away, "guess I'm just unique like that."

"I didn't mean it that way. I just want to feel like you can trust me enough to--"

"Ryuu-chan, I'm grabbing a shower. Unless you wanna get naked and wet with me, let it drop for now."

Ryuuji frowned... and sat in a chair.

"Shame."

\--

As he stripped, Jin made a mental note to apologize to Ryuuji once he was done. He hadn't meant to sound that ungrateful, really. But Ryuuji didn't understand. None of them did. He was finally home, and he just wanted to enjoy that--

_Enter leering over you, murmuring something unpleasant sounding in French--_

Damn. Usually the flashbacks quit after his run.

Jin regarded his reflection. He was still gorgeous, even with the bags under his eyes. Not bad for someone who was gonna turn forty-one next week.

_Kuroki's eyes go wide as you start strangling him, and you're screaming at Enter to make it stop, but it doesn't, it only ends when Youko-chan tries to intervene and you toss her aside--_

Shower time.

... And yeah, that was exactly what he needed. Jin didn't bother with soap or shampoo for now, just enjoying how the hot water felt against his tired, achy muscles. He could just forget everything for a few minutes, and--

_You're crying in front of other people for the first time in years, but it doesn't matter, you have to make Hiromu understand that Enter did something wrong to your body, it can't be fixed, he has to kill you so Enter can't win--_

Don't focus on that. Focus on the sound of running water, steam and heat and wetness--

_Ryuuji's promising you that they'll find a way to make you normal again, and you're too damn weak to tell him don't, **don't try to save you** , after what Enter did there's a chance you could revert--_

Enter, leering and twisting and warping you until you don't even know who or what you are anymore--

He hit the shower stall, hard, in an attempt to end it. When it didn't work, he hit it again, and again, enough to make the tile crack and his knuckles bleed. Then he started screaming, because Enter was still here, he always had been, and he couldn't beat this, he couldn't, he just couldn't--

"Sempai." Ryuuji held him close, apparently unaware that he was now soaking wet thanks to the still running shower. "It's all right."

"It's not," Jin finally admitted, not giving a shit how choked up he sounded anymore. "I tried to kill you guys."

"Enter made you try to kill us." Ryuuji's grip tightened. "You resisted, saving us in the process. Don't ever think otherwise."

"How can you be so sure."

Ryuuji laughed weakly. "Well, as someone who's done many terrible things, and then woke up with little to no memory of said things myself, I had to learn early that it wasn't my fault. Otherwise, I would have been lost."

"Shit, that's right. You've have to deal with it since you were fifteen."

"You've had your own problems for just as long." Ryuuji arranged it so that they were sitting together. For some reason, it didn't matter that Jin was naked, or that they were both wet. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spied on you earlier."

"I don't know. I do have this tendency to do obtuse shit when no one's looking." Jin sighed heavily. "Is it ever gonna get easier?"

"In some ways. In others, you just have to trust yourself and your friends."

Jin wasn't sure if he could do that. At least, not to the extent that Ryuuji wanted. But... most people wouldn't hold you when you were having a panic attack. And most of the people who would probably wouldn't if you were also in the shower. Maybe he could try Ryuuji's idea, just a bit, and shit, right, hot showers and Ryuuji were a really bad idea!

"Ryuu-chan, you need to get out of here, the water--"

"I can stand a little hot water. And it's become lukewarm since I came in here. Can't you tell?" Hunh. So it had.

Ryuuji let Jin go long enough to turn off the shower. "Still, we shouldn't waste water." He frowned at his now soaked clothes. "Tell you what. I'll change, while you towel off and find some pajamas?"

"Deal." Yeah, a nap sounded pretty good right now. Ryuuji offered a hand, and Jin took it as he stood up, except that damn calf muscle acted up again, and Ryuuji had to hold him to keep him from stumbling.

And then the door opened.

"I don't believe this."

"J?!" Ryuuji grabbed Jin closer, presumably so J wouldn't see his stuff, buy whatever. J had seen it all before. "W-What are you doing here?"

"I am the one who holds Jin when he's crying, not you, Ryuuji." J looked at Jin. "I cannot believe that you are replacing me with someone who is clearly inferior."

"J, I would never--"

"Relax." Jin patted Ryuuji's chest. "I got this." He turned his attention to J. "J, do you really wanna hold me when I'm naked and wet?"

"I see that you have a point, Jin. Very well. I have decided that Ryuuji will hold Jin when he is naked and wet and crying. I will hold him when he is not naked and wet, but still crying." And with that, J left.

"... He's pretty overprotective, when he wants to be," Jin explained, for whatever good that would do.

"That's okay." Ryuuji still hadn't let him go. Hunh. "So am I."

"That's cool, but I still need to get dressed and stuff."

"Oh, right." Ryuuji smiled a little too hard for it to be believable, let go, and gave Jin a towel. He was very cute as he blushed/averted his eyes as Jin began to dry himself off.

"Geez, Ryuu-chan, you've seen it all. And I totally understand if you oogle me. But you should change too, we don't want you to catch a cold." Jin didn't feel completely better, but it was still a massive improvement to how he'd felt just a little while ago.

And maybe Ryuuji still didn't completely understand-- hell, maybe it was better if he never comprehended just how badly Enter had broken Jin in the last days of the fight with Vaglass. But that was fine. He was trying to, and that meant more to Jin than anything.


End file.
